The Shadow Knows

Lucie and I walk three miles every day. With the sun behind us, we see our shadows. Shadows fascinate me. Lucie loves to hear my stories about shadows.

In ancient Greek mythology, shadows were considered a physical manifestation of the soul. In more recent history, Wendy Darling rescued Peter Pan’s misplaced, wrinkled shadow from a drawer and sewed it onto his back so he could become more fully human.

 Buddhists believe shadows represent the transitory nature of life and the importance of embracing change and detachment.  Hindus believe shadows remind us to look beyond the surface and seek “What’s next?”

My life’s path is good at rounding a corner and vaulting me head first into “What’s next?” One might think that at almost seventy-seven years old I’d catch a break. Nope. Not a chance.  

I thought I was comfortable with my artwork. Then I eyeballed it as an outside observer. And guess what? I want to improve, and improve, and . . .

But what does “improve” mean to me?

Candidly, I’m not sure.

However, as a lifelong learner, I have a plan. I’m taking a break from painting and focusing on two workshops touted to help me find true joy in painting.  And when I identify my true joy, I will know how I want to improve.

I’ve spent the last month trying to paint what I thought others might like. But as of this very moment, I quit.

The following “Commitment to ME” is taped to my easel:  I will NOT paint to please others. I WILL paint what I prefer—MY colors, MY genre, MY tools, MY medium, My substrate.

And, yes, Ms. Shadow, I won’t forget you. After all, some believe attending to one’s shadow leads to self-discovery.

Game on!

                                                           Me 'n My Shadow

                                                           Judith Kolva, artist